The world sounds a little noisy. I hear birds chirping, clock ticking, chill wind blowing.
'Ahh..too cold outside,' I mumbled. Tea is still hot. The Corrs is still singing, looping around the iTunes playlist.
I have an issue. Like in a chronic state, it continues. It is not that I haven't tried to look for any antidotes to cure or at least to rejuvenate the pain. I did. It worked only on the superficial while the root of all this sickness is dominating the deeper layer. 'Poor prognosis,' I thought. Too bad, it has made itself familiar to me. It has been staying in the inside of me for so many seasons without giving me absolute reasons. Not even one. Pretty close to play as an uninvited guest.
Before I went off to bed last night, I clearly saw what had happened earlier that morning. I lied on my left and slowly touched the wall. 2 pint-size corroded handicrafts remain on the white wall. Tears welled up but I managed to stop those salty water before they got discharged. I initially flamed the blame on the world. 'Why can't this whole gigantic universe bear with my flaws?'. In a fraction of time, I hauled myself, the entire me, onto an imaginary racing horse, travelled the past.
Checkpoint 1 : Mistake
Checkpoint 2 : Mistake
Checkpoint 3 : Mistake
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Tired of counting down the errors down the memory lane, I jumped off the horse and it vanished in a split second. Again, I found myself still lying on the same bed. 'This is all about limits. I have my own range of limit and so does everybody. I dislike when people crossing my frontier and so does everybody.'
I have crossed yours too, for the umpteenth times. I was too desperate to be the only one, never to be compared and belittled. I challenged myself along the journey. To blend in with all the good things is obviously not an easy action and sometimes I have to cross the boundary to drag the good qualities into a visible spot. Bad attitudes are intensifying and I must dial it back.
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